I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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