Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
