He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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