Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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