were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
