He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
