glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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