Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize