You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
