i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
