remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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