I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
