She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
