so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i will never coherently bang her
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
