i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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