at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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