you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
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I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
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I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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