Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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