Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So squirting runs in the family.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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