I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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