im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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