Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
