at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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