Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
