drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Send help, water and tortillas.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
