You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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