...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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