hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
