I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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