i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
