I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
