Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
