I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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