piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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