At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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