Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
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Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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