Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.