this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
