He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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