yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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