I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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