what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
