you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
