I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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