shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
