dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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