the new term for farting is butt boxing.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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