Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
