the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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