WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
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i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
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He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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