after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
