I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
