oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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