Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it's like heaven, but drunker
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
