exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize