That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
