If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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