Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
