tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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