Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
